I Failed

I was standing in line at the grocery store, behind an older lady then a gentleman who both separately had a handful of items.  The cashier was telling the person at the register that they’re card only paid for $3.49 of they’re total.  I hear her ask if she can try it again. In that instant, I knew The Lord wanted me to step up past the people in front of me and pay for her groceries. But, I failed.  Instead of taking the opportunity to work for The Lord, I thought to myself , “I can’t even see her, what if she is just buying a bunch of junk. I can’t afford to buy somebody else’s junk food, I’m on a budget.”  And just like that, I failed my Lord.  She handed her items back to the cashier, said she would come back for them later, and walked away where I could finally see that she was a young woman with two small children.  Immediately I was sick to my stomach knowing that I had missed my opportunity to serve The Lord. Conviction of my sin set in.

Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. -James 4:17

Why did I not just obey The Lord, and trust that if He wanted me to pay for her groceries that He would have taken care of my bank account?  Why was I so judgmental thinking that maybe she wasn’t worth me helping her out?  I could crawl into a dark cave and never come out because of the guilt and shame I feel. I failed. I failed that woman. I failed her children.  I failed the witnesses that were between me and her.  I failed my family.  And most of all, I failed my Lord and Saviour.

I’m sharing my testimonial with you so that you can learn from it as I have had to.  We as God’s chosen few, shouldn’t hesitate the slightest bit when following The Lord. We should get to work for Him taking every single opportunity He gives us.  I shouldn’t have let those few second of hesitation pass.  Those seconds were all my own rotten flesh needed to talk myself out of what The Lord wanted me to do.  So many times I am afraid that we hesitate just enough when we see someone struggling to let our minds “judge” the situation and decide for ourselves whether we should help them.  I’m ashamed to admit, that if I could have seen that she was only buying bagels and fruit and that she had two little boys I wouldn’t have hesitated for a second. God gave me a test today of my faith, and I failed.  I couldn’t see the woman or her cart and therefore I let myself doubt that God could see her.

How many lost people surround us everyday?  Do we fail them by not trusting in God and taking each opportunity to work or witness for Him?  Their souls are in the balance, dangling over the flames of hell, and we are too busy thinking about whether The Lord really wants us to help them out or not.  It was too late for me to buy her groceries by the time I got up to the register, I even searched the parking lot hoping she was sitting in her car so I could tell her to wait.  I couldn’t do anything on my own time, God had the timing right and I missed it.  No do overs. Let’s not fail to work and witness for The Lord when He wants us to.  If we wait, there may not be a second chance.  It could be too late. I pray that next time The Lord gives me an opportunity, I take it and obey Him.  And I’m afraid that since I failed this one, the next one may not be so easy.


One thought on “I Failed

  1. Been there, done that. I thank God for His forgiveness at times like this. And I thank Him for His patience in dealing with His children whom He loves. Thank you for your courage in sharing and challenging us all.


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